Warning Shot

I was born into a military family, on a military base, and have never known a breath of my life without the Army or the Air Force. My father spent 30 years as an Apache pilot and my oldest sister is still in the Air Force protecting this country.

For all my years on this planet, military vocabulary has been part of our family’s culture. It went from using military time to signing papers to receive my sister’s body if she died in combat, and all the verbiage in between.

Having so many veterans in my family and being around military vocabulary has been a massive advantage in my HR career. When I worked for the government I easily understood law enforcement structures, vernacular, and gained their trust quickly. In all my roles it was second nature to connect with veterans and honor their space at our organization while advocating for even more veteran spaces.

The biggest advantage of having a military family culture as an HR professional, however, has actually been as a People Manager.

Perhaps it’s because I grew up unapologetically passionate, or perhaps it really was because of that no-breath-without-the-military lifestyle, however I had no idea the impact my upbringing had on my leadership style until the first time my supervisor pulled me aside after a public conflict.

At the time I was 25 years old sitting in a board room with about 30 people, and six of those people reported to me. My own supervisor was in attendance, as well as the entire finance team, the CFO, the Finance Manager, and the HRIS Implementation Project Manager.

The meeting was to hash out a dreaded piece of the HRIS implementation we were waist deep in, and as all implementation meetings tend to go, things began to escalate between Finance and HR.

At one point the Finance Manager directly addressed my team in a manner that I deemed disrespectful. Calmly, but clearly, I said:

Tom, if you have an issue with someone on my team, that needs to be addressed with me directly. Please do not speak to my team like that again.

I made eye contact with Tom when I said it, and he became visibly upset. I did not look away, but I smiled genuinely. The moment passed and I quickly typed out an IM to my supervisor: Warning Shot.

The meeting continued and Tom left my team alone (smart guy, that Tom). After the meeting my supervisor came into my office and was baffled by the whole scenario. She asked what warning shot meant and said she was surprised I stood up so quickly for the team.

And I remember staring at her for a solid ten seconds before I realized she wasn’t a bad leader, she simply grew up differently.

So I explained that warning shot is a military term that means: an intentionally harmless artillery shot or gunshot with intent to enact direct compliance and order to a hostile perpetrator or enemy forces.

It’s a term we used in my family all the time, a warning to give someone the chance to rock back on their heels before we unleash the real artillery.

My sentence to Tom was harmless, a warning shot that was signaling to him he was about cross a boundary and if he decided to keep crossing that boundary I would unleash an artillery he would not survive.

Because my team is the war.

I grew up in a Mexican, Military family - a poor one at that. I grew up knowing in my bones that protecting and uplifting my sisters was the actual purpose of this war we called life. I grew up trusting they knew the same. Gaining wealth, finding a spouse, procreating, none of that truly mattered if we didn’t uplift and protect each other in the process.

And as a People Manager that fights battles against HRIS timelines, EEOC claims, revenue goals, benefit premiums, recruitment timelines, and a million other struggles, it is imperative to the psychological safety and ultimate success of my team that they know - they are the war.

Our teams will exceed their goals when they know in their bones that you are going to protect and uplift them no matter what comes your way.

Human beings will move like an army when their manager leads like an officer that is willing to go to war for them.

They will also take more accountability, give you more candid feedback, and be able to hear tough feedback when they feel safe.

Throughout my career each of my teams know the term Warning Shot, see me use it and use it themselves.

If someone oversteps, I’ll set a boundary and ping my team “WS” so they know I’ll be the one taking care of this conflict. If someone on my team is leading a meeting and another individual starts to disrespect our HR org, my team member will send out a warning shot as the meeting leader and ensure their teammates know who the war is really about.

Because you see, my HR Warriors, it is always about you. It will always be about protecting and uplifting you and the humans around you.

Once you can breathe into that fact, once you feel safe in that mindset, your creativity will be off the charts. There is no problem you cannot solve, no conflict you cannot mediate, no business decision you cannot add value to when you feel safe and protected.

So what warning shots do you need to send out this week to ensure your teams know what war we’re really fighting? Go do the damn thing, HR Warrior.